Call Now: 443-286-2488

Secrets of Success

Becoming More Effective in 2013

It’s a new year and millions of us will make resolutions—promises of changes we want to see in our lives. We get excited at the beginning of a new year and spend a great deal of time on “what” we want to do but not much time on “how” we will overcome obstacles when they arise. Below are some don’ts and do’s to help you stay on track.


Become overly focused on your feelings.
One of the easiest ways to become sidetracked with a goal is to become overly focused on how you “feel” about what you’re attempting to accomplish.
How many times have you approached a task with “I don’t feel like it.”?
How often has that helped move you toward your goal?

Use the phrase “I have to.”
The words “have to” will make you feel like a victim.

Change “have to” to “choose to” or “choose to because…”
What statement is more likely to motivate you? “I have to exercise” or “I choose to exercise because I want more energy.”

Engage in “Pain Olympics”
Pain Olympics occur when we compare our circumstances to other people’s and then focus on how much worse our situation is. That is energy draining and distracting. It accomplishes nothing and will temporarily stop all progress toward your goal.

Use the phrase, “You don’t understand.”
It’s true other people don’t understand but focusing on that is counterproductive.
It will do little more than make you feel isolated, alone and like a victim.


Focus on what is
Focusing on what you don’t have (time, resources, money, support, etc.) will not move you toward your goal.
What time, resources, money or support do you have?

Stay in a perpetual state of thankfulness and gratitude
The brain is incapable of accessing a negative thought when you are in a state of thankfulness and gratitude. It’s like trying to sneeze with your eyes open. Let’s say your goal is to improve your marriage. Focus on what you are thankful and grateful for in your partner. You’ll find yourself more motivated to improve the relationship than if you focus on the parts of your partner that annoy you.

Focus on process not events
Nothing in life moves in a straight line. Accomplishing any goal that is truly worthwhile will involve successes, setbacks and temporary problems. Focusing on the event (the temporary problem) can cause you to feel stuck. When that happens, simply focus on the process (the larger goal) and that will give you the distance and perspective you need to keep moving forward.

Look at what is in your control
The truth is you don’t control much—the weather, how fast your hair grows, what other people think of you, and on and on. What you do control is how you respond to any circumstance. Successful goal setting depends on your ability to adapt and adjust. Learning to respond to circumstances rather than react will give you more of a sense of control and will allow you stay focused on the goal.

The New Year seems to be the time when most of us focus on goals, but the truth of the matter is we are setting goals throughout the year. The aforementioned do’s and don’ts should prove helpful regardless of the goal you are pursuing or the time of year.

Leave a Reply

CTS Consulting, Inc

3126 Berkshire Road

Baltimore, Maryland 21214

phone 410-444-5857

cell 443-286-2488