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Archive for 2012

Fear Factor

This being the time of year for making resolutions, I’d thought I’d jump into the fray.

Let me start by saying I don’t put much stock in New Year’s resolutions. Most people need a more compelling reason to do something than a random date on a calendar.

Why not try another focus this year? This year vow to face your fears. Begin by asking the question, “What am I afraid of?”

I’m in the business of helping people get “unstuck” and that often requires them to face their fears. Here are some of the fears clients have shared with me over the past 12 months:

“I’m afraid I’ll never be happy….” (In my job, in my relationships, etc.)

“I’m afraid I’ll never be able to trust…” (My family, my business partners, myself, etc.)

“I’m afraid I’ll never be enough…” (Smart enough, successful enough, secure enough, rich enough, good enough, lovable enough, organized enough, etc.”)

“I’m afraid I’ll never feel understood” (At work, at home, etc.)

“I’m afraid I’ll never have…” (Children, respect, confidence, peace of mind, etc.)

I have heard each of these fears from more than one person. These are not uncommon concerns.

I have also noticed these fears have a few things in common. The word “never” is often used. The words “I’m afraid” are part of the scenario. And… the fears often simply seem too big to do anything about and nothing the individual tried has seemed to work.

Because of these factors, that’s exactly what people often do about their fears –nothing.

Here are the problems with that:

1. Since life is not static nothing stays the same for long.
2. Left unattended problems get worse.
3. Not facing your fears makes them seem bigger than they really are.

What this list does not speak to is the biggest problem fear avoidance can cause.

The worst thing we do by avoiding our fears is we deny ourselves the incredible feeling that comes when a fear is seen for what it really is, cut down to size, and then conquered.

Overcoming our fears has an unbelievably positive effect on our self-confidence. Conquering fears can make you brave. And when you feel brave you are often willing to go even deeper and take more risks which results in more successes, which results in greater growth and more self confidence… and the positive circle continues.

So this year resolve to conquer a fear. Face it head on, look it in the eye and stare it down!

After all, you have nothing to lose—except being afraid.

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CTS Consulting, Inc

3126 Berkshire Road

Baltimore, Maryland 21214

phone 410-444-5857

cell 443-286-2488