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Archive for August, 2012

Cats Don’t Bark and Dogs Don’t Meow

David was beside himself. Martha his top producer was at it again. Not returning
customer phone calls, being late for meetings and not finishing her paperwork.
“What”, he lamented, “Am I going to do?”
“I have addressed these issues with her repeatedly. Every time we talk she promises to do better. She changes her behavior for a couple of days and then we’re back to the same problem. If I wasn’t practically bald I’d pull my hair out!”
It was clear to me David what not dealing with what was actually happening but rather was wishing for a behavior for which there was no evidence. People’s behavior, I offered, is remarkably consistent whether we like that behavior or not.
“David, I explained, “You’re asking a cat to bark and a dog to meow.”

Cats don’t bark and dogs don’t meow.

Two months ago Charlie renegotiated his commission structure with his boss. In the past they would agree on a new structure and even put everything in writing so there would be no misunderstandings. And then his boss would attempt to change the terms citing special circumstances. This time Charlie was sure they had an agreement everyone could live with.
Last week Charlie called. He was livid. “They are trying to change the terms again. Just like they did last time!”
“Charlie,” I responded, ”You keep wanting them to be someone they are not.”

Cats don’t bark and dogs don’t meow.

Here’s the Deal

We all want things to be the way we want them to be. We even want this when there is overwhelming evidence that what we want not only is not happening it may have never happened and my never happen.

The reality is that though some people can and do change, most people’s behavior is pretty constant and pretty predictable.

Dogs bark.
Cats meow.
People are who they are.
People do what they do.

“But why”, we ask, “Do some people refuse to cooperate and repeatedly go back on their word?”

The short answer is because they can.

We let them.
We pout, complain, we threaten, we cajole but at the end of the day we do nothing about their behavior. Instead we look at our behavior.
“I keep my agreements.”
“I return phone calls.”
“I’m on time.”

“I behave in a certain way and if I just give them enough time they will behave that way too.”

Maybe.

But probably not.

What to Do?

Stop being a victim.
Start the meeting without them.
Call them on their behavior if they change the rules.

Will it work every time?

Absolutely not.

But it will work sometimes and it will definitely send a message that when it comes to dealing with you they need to pay a little more attention. love spells spellcaster

More importantly it will empower you and give you a sense of predictability and control over the situation.

Hopefully most of the people in your universe are reasonable, fair-minded, reliable and responsible.
Learn to spot those who are not.
Don’t try to make them something they are not but don’t allow yourself to be victimized by what they do or don’t do.

Cats meow.
Dogs bark.

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CTS Consulting, Inc

3126 Berkshire Road

Baltimore, Maryland 21214

phone 410-444-5857

cell 443-286-2488